Ye cannae teach an old dog new tricks

Most people when they have a mid life crisis by a sports car. I'm to cheap for that so I bought myself a pair of skates. And I love my skates, not only are they pretty I've finally found a sport that is fun.

Not content with my weekly skates on the Largs Prominade with Largs Roller Coasters, when I saw that a new Roller Derby league was being created in Irvine my first thoughts were, I'm up for that.

Now my experience of Roller Derby is watching Whip IT, I'd never even been to a live bout. In fact I didn't even know it was called a bout! So you can imagine how unprepared I was.

So I announced to the world I was going to do Roller Derby. I had a fantastic response from most folk, I was also declared a nutter! At this point I could only skate in a straight line. I couldn't stop without battering in to an object. I was unfit and I have gubbed knees. I was in perfect shape for Roller Derby, wasn't I?

10 days before the 1st skating session I was so excited. By the time it came to the day of the skating session I was terrified! I was so scared I was making myself ill. What was I thinking?! I can't do Roller Derby, I'm 39 for fucks sake not 19! I have 2 young kids, a house to run and a full time job. I must be off my trolly.

If I hadn't been getting lots of messages on Facebook wishing me luck I would have never went. So with my cute Rio's and my mouth-guard off I headed to my first ever Roller Derby session. Any sane person would have been put off with the need for a mouth-guard.

You can imagine my brain on the day of the skate session. Will everyone be brilliant skaters? Will the session be full of youngsters? I already had my wrist in a splint after a spectacular launch on the promenade and I shouldn't even have been skating. What if I broke something? Am I too old to pop my roller derby cherry?

I'm actually really proud of myself. Despite my utter fear I did it, my cherry has been popped! The Ayrshire Roller Derby girls were lovely and made me feel welcome. I was no worse or better than everyone else. I was still terrified during the session, it takes a while for that pure terror to drain out of you.

I would recommend it to anyone that wants to learn how to skate well. I've learned so much over the last few weeks. I'm learning how to stop and how to fall correctly. I'm determined to learn how to do transitions and I'm loving how skull crushers are firming up my thighs. Listen to me getting down with the kids with all the roller derby lingo! I'm still rubbish but these things take time. Even if you don't fancy the high impact of roller derby you should definitely give it a try. You could always become a referee.

I'm now waiting on my new derby skates arriving. No longer can I ask why my husband needs all those guitars, he can only play one at a time!

Come on everyone get your skates on and either come for a recreational skate with Largs Roller Coasters or come and learn all the skating moves with Ayrshire Roller Derby!